Until spring

I applied for a course in creative writing and got in. So I guess until spring I'll just be writing. Plus, in november I'm planning on participating in NaNoWriMo like last year - writing a novel in 30 days. The goal is 50 000 words and last year I wrote 26k which might seem like a failure but didn't feel like one at all. It's longer then anything I've written before and what do you know, this year I might finish. The problem is not actual writing but having the story move ahead, although about halfway through last year I experienced some kind of a "breakthru" and actually felt like my book was the real world, this physical version just something i'm doing to keep busy. Like the characters were telling me what happened rather than me making it up as I go along. A cliché I never thought I'd experience.
A few days ago I got the feels and sat down to edit a few picture from Cuba.


I lay on the docks today, in the warm breeze, clothes rippling over my light skin, listening to ferries leaving the harbour. In a second hand store I found a copy of the Hobbit in such bad condition the pages come into my hands when I turn them. I'm reading it quickly, with care.
Got up late but still too early - sun has not come around the corner of the balcony. We're sitting in chairs with coffee and toasts. Woman across from our building pulls the shades up, fastens the curtains and opens her bedroom window. Open balcony doors everywhere. They've got the sun. I blast my favourite sixties playlist - I can't enjoy their sun but I can force Surf on them.
Repotted his plants in the sunshine. Took our bikes to the store. We made a silent promise to be better and bought nothing but greens and berries. Sunset dinner of home made sesame bread, oven mushrooms, onions and potatoes, sauce of feta and yoghurt, olives, seasoned olive oil to dip and wine. Then Game of Thrones. Blueberries and more wine. Better.
Want the beach under a house next to the ocean but there is no escape, only pause. But we go smoother in warmth.

January 14th

man i wrote like 500 words or something here yesterday before hurrying out in the night, didnt save it cus it usually saves itself as draft - apparently not anymore. wasnt too important or anything but i was planning on posting it so..........
anyway hello i'm writing a book at the moment and so's why i havent posted anything here in a while. well no actually it's cus i hate this website and i would switch platform and everything if i just cared enough. i've more or less exchanged photography for writing too - yeah, a book - written 27k words in november after signing up for nanowrimo. didnt finish but whatever - got rest of my life to do that.
pictures of alice from june last year, before she left for nicaragua.
so yep basically done with photography for now, but then yesterday was the first sunny day of the year i believe and i got the camera out anyway. this is niklas and he's, well, my boyfriend.


read in 2016:
  • Rendezvous with Rama
  • SAGA vol. 5
  • A Storm of Swords
  • A Feast for Crows
  • A Dance with Dragons
  • Fellowship of the Ring
  • On the Road
  • Oryx & Crake
  • Mockingjay
  • Crime & Punishment
  • On the Road, the original scroll
  • Big Sur
  • Harry Potter & the Cursed Child
  • Rum Diary (hunter s thompson)
  • Screwjack (hunter s thompson)
  • Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas
  • Catcher in the Rye
im struggling to find anything meaningful to post. not taking pictures anymore. what im writing is not meant for this blog or internet at all yet. i could write a bit of what ive done other than reading but i dont want to. you just think all i did last year was read these books, that'll be fine. this year i'm planning to finish the old man and the sea, dharma bums (kerouac), junky and naked lunch (burroughs), pride & prejudice, war & peace, and the inheritance books (about eragon) in english to start with. also re-read sputnik sweetheart and the great gatsby. then we'll see. yass.


Maja Björsne - photographer/writer (her work's up at www.majabjorsne.com) working for local website/paper, been online friends for years but didnt officially meet until recently. love meeting talented new friends though. met up early june on THE hottest day, took to each other immediately as presumed and spent better part of that afternoon taking no-pressure pictures of each other, sneaking around courtyards trying to find cool shady places. Chatted of photography of course and then summer adventures to come, travels, favourite authors ... excitedly.
Well this was almost two months ago, then what happened? Hung out again of course after said summer adventures, and just now she popped by my flat to borrow one of my lenses for a photography job. 'Im in town indefinitely - let's make our next meet-up a longer one" -- i agreed.


May 31st, tuesday
last day of may; alone on my balcony, julio iglesias on vinyl inside, 10 pm yet sky is still a soft light blue. been pouring all day so air is moist and heavy with earthy fragrances. Lovisa's birthday. I just got home from stockholm spending the weekend with my cousin ingrid, her boyfriend tore, her best friend emma, and tore's roomie, dennis.
last night me, emma and dennis watched game of thrones and ended up with way too much lust for life to go to bed, and so went for a warm summer night walk, playing around the neighbourhood for hours. climbed the playground, sprinted a football field, made cartwheels, told stories. dennis told me the best and craziest stories from his childhood (i've just finished my lil black moleskin and was foolishly stranded without paper this perticular trip but those stories - he's just gold). emma picked flowers, dawn somehow just around the corner, and sure enough - back in the boys' flat was the emerging 3 AM sun, flowing in rows through the blinds, allowing me to read a few pages of dostoyevsky before passing out on their sofa.
pictures: introducing my flatmate alice - skater, adventurer, vegan master chef (instagram @vegangrool).

21 april

night after the news. we didnt leave the flat for two days except for hitting bars after running out of beer. not to soothe pain but because there was nothing else to do.
so prince is dead too. i have never in my life felt alone as i do now. not talking about loneliness, not the physichal thing - i'll try to explain. i write things down here but not for you to read - you are reading it but it's not for you; i dont believe in you. you don't matter. you are not. i believe in a few 'people' only and between them, in reference to them, i am, alive - something. existing. not dead. all other people - not important. not existing.
because my existance is not relative to these others.
i dont give a fuck. i take a deep breath and i dont give a fuck. but im also loosing it cus my pillars - my real people - are being taken away from under me; im crying in my bedroom - im staring blank into my own reflection in the kitchen window, no clue why im cleaning the counter.
i didnt post this then cus i felt it too harsh but seems fine now


ingrid i stockholm, februari
är orimligt taggad på att jag ska åka till frölunda och köpa en ny aux-kabel i eftermiddag. 5 meter lång guldpläterad 179 kr på siba. här ska inte snubblas mer kan jag lova er
är ledig, sitter och skriver detta med med benen i kors på persiska mattan i mitt vardagsrum. lyssnar på en låt lovisa gjort med sin boy i usa. låter fett svajigt. kan dock bero på anledningen till att jag behöver en ny aux-sladd.
är egentligen bara inomhus för att hämta mer kaffe, suttit på balkongen och läst a feast of crows i pyjamas och hoodie sedan jag vaknade. det är vårsol i gbg mina vänner.
en haiku:
gjorde ny playlist
kaffe på balkongen
var är mina brillz
BB Florence - Spotify


October 2015
ive seen a pretty movie so now i feel like ive got things to tell. it was belle epoque with young penelope cruz and jorge sanz (very cute). loving and free spirited family in 1930s spain whilst country is going republic. four very different sisters making the boy staying with them over the summer fall in love with them one at a time. father a painter now living alone in a big house on the countryside while mother is touring south america with her lover, and all is well. one sister newly widowed, one wants to be a boy, one a prima donna and heartbreaker, one a typical youngest sibling, witty and pretty, naïve and jealous of her sisters rumbles with pretty-boy. guess who he ends up with.
Victoria idag. Alltså min yngsta syster. Fikade på stadsbiblioteket och åt fucking godaste kokosbollen i mitt liv.
Satt hela fikat och tänkte på hur pretty hon är så när hon skulle gå bad jag om att bara få ta några bilder i parken bakom huset.

12 februari

klockan är snart tre på eftermiddagen och jag sitter i mitt vardagsrum och lyssnar på dizzy gillespie. blev hemskickad från jobbet via sms innan jag ens kommit dit pga inget för mig att göra där idag. timanställning is life.
men jag var redan på väg, klockan var åtta på morgonen och jag hade börjat dagen med spontandans och avokadomackor i morgonsol (på bilderna) och var på bra humör, så jag bara bytte spårvagn.
åkte till mammas kontor och sade hej till henne och hennes kollegor (känner dem bra pga vikarierat där några semestrar), ställde min matlåda i deras kyl, bestämde lunchdejt med mamma och gick sedan avenyn upp till biblioteket.
satt två timmar i solen på tredje våningen och läste a storm of swords. har bestämt mig för att läsa ut den innan februari är slut och det går bra. mötte sedan upp mamma på open new doors på tyska bron, vi beställde varsin rödbets-groddar-blodapelsin-avokado-grönkålssallad och åt dessa med solen i ögonen och kanalen utanför glasväggarna.
nu hemma som sagt. bor på tredje våningen med grannar till höger och vänster och under mig, så det går inte att spela jazz på rimlig volym varken före eller efter jobbet. klockan tre på en fredag går det dock alldeles utmärkt.
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