July

I had a dream I met Nick Cave and he was tall and handsome, like a vampire. He said to me, you are married to your soulmate and I said so are you.
 
small coffees, orangina on rough chairs by a pretty table. i want to be here with a mutual, live slower, simpler. i would be more easily pleased. perhaps i am not a traveler, but a settler.
 
i wrote my name on a stone at the beach.
 
having lunch, turqoise sky with half a moon somewhere up there (i saw it). last night i opened up the story and did a little bit of writing and editing. it felt like coming home to my own head. i felt everything so clear back when i wrote it. it's the best diary i could have from that time. now i'm floating, slowly going forward I suppose but there's a long way going until i will see things that way again. i was fearless. cus i was naïve. perhaps naivety is needed to be the person i wanna be.
 
a website asked me to take photos for them at way out west, then withdrew their proposition when i explained i don't do mingle photography.
 
i finished the Nix. I liked it very much. I loved the bits about the twins and about Chicago. now i'm reading accessible but also profound Here I Am by the author I fully rejected two years ago, Jonathan Safran Foer. it's easy reading. it also reaches me in ways i couldn't imagine, cus he writes of some of the things i am writing my own story about.
 
and sam shepard died.
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